Something Sometime

Every morning I can hear certain sound of sheep, constant and mild. At first I thought it is from somebody's clock, maybe some one with a dream of shepherd. It turns out to be wrong because this morning I heard desperate swine shouting coming from my window together with the peaceful sheep sound as usual. Clearly the swine is fighting against his destiny with all his energy. It's an ultimate discharge of power which caused a Burkian feeling of sublime: a life threatening for the swine, but a guarantee safety for me. I really admire the swine for the courage and power to fight for survival. Hope you haven't caught a cold.

The phone rings. A young voice speaking of quick Shanghai dialect. Clearly she made a mistake with the number.  Suddenly it provokes something deep in my mind. I don't know what it is at first, but truly something soft and warm.  After while I finally recall it. That's a sound that I heard about 15 years ago. The same season of a year, I was in my home in Chengdu that day. When I picked up the phone there came out a female voice asking for my sister. I had never known that a voice could be that beautiful - a sound that I wanted to knee for. It has been a long time that I feel something beautiful is missed in my life. Thanks for the call from Shanghai, it helps me recollect one of the most romantic moments in my life. Perfectly, it explains why I feel there is a reason that I am in this city, Beijing, it is the place the voice came from.

It is really good, I simply cannot imagine it better. The problem is: as it is too good, it becomes unreal, unrelated to reality which is anything but good. To change this situation, there is no other way but appreciating the goodness of reality, probably I need to be more kind.

The singer of this song passed away several days ago. One more lost of talented women. It makes this song almost unbearable. She is one of the luckiest who is able to accomplish her whole life as an artwork with death.

There is one man in my department. Perfectly combed hair, distinguished suit, shining shoes, classic umbrella and aged leather case, to sate some of his characteristics. In short, he looks like a typical English gentlemen, but a man in the period of the Great War. Especially when you see Owen Jones' The Grammar of Ornament on his desk, definitely you will feel that you are back to the age of Pevsner.

I and other students in jeans always made fun of him in private conversations, what makes a Msc student to be dressed as a professor 100 years ago?

Only after I heard Sting's "An Englishman in New York" do I realise how naive we are, "it takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile, be yourself no matter what they say." Nicolas.

have no idea what is the most nonsensest nonesense

As Wittgenstein said, you don’t need say ‘keep silent’ to keep silent

what’s the real intention?

will go home in 12 days

seems to be a vacuum Christmas

uncanny quietness

better to keep silent

"不该给他五十元，因为他伤害了我的自尊心，我很恨他，不该给他五十表示我不狠他的。我真是神经病。"

Quoted from 秘密#92193, http://secret.moumentei.com/groups/1/latest/

my first Gothic design, I am falling love with buttress.

I had a dream in which I lost my pen in a piece of grass land. When I was look for it my clock waked my up and I became half conscious. I had not found my pen so I was eager to go back to my dream and continue the searching. But another thought came in: what I want is to find my pen, I can either continue the dream and look for it in the grass land, or I and just get up and find it on my table. Even myself was amazed that how reasonalbe I was, apparently a table is much smaller than a piece of grass land, so I got up.

What you need do is to get yourself undressed, and thoroughly oil your body. Crown your head with a poplar wreath, draping you left shoulder in a lion skin and tandishing a club in your right hand, then walk around the men who you are expecting to get commision from.

These are Vitruvius's suggestions，according to him, Dinocrates won the love of Alxander by this means and became the designer of the city of Alexanderia.

Now I know why Brad Pitt decided to start his career as an architect, he must have read Ten Books on Atchitecture.

Vitruvius also mentioned, as he had been an old man, he could not depend on the beauty of face and the dignity of physical presence like Dinocrates did. So he had to depend on writting to become a more successful architect.

You are really a genius, Vitruvius. Now I know why I am writing these stuffs.

It has long been claimed that it would be the greatest Olympic. I doubted it before because didn't see any proof of this argument. But now I fully agree that it is already the greatest Olympic. And the greatest part had already gone, of course I mean the torch relay.

There's no one Olympic that had aroused so much intense interest all around the world. Million of people gathered together with various flags, boards, opinions and shoutings. We can all it a great game because no one regrets in participating in it, they all believed they had done what they should do and had archived what they want to archive. On the other hand, it caused no human life lost, which is quite hard for such a big event as this, you cannot expect any better result in an age that a single student can kill 32 persons without hesitation.

It is a great game also because you have no choice but participate in it, there's no neutral place. Normally the media is believed to be neutral, but this time no media is trusted anymore, no matter it is Chinese or western. Hence there is no ground for any neutral stance, you have to chose one side.

If Nietzsche is still alive, he must be extremely happy with this Olympic game. It is much more excited and truthful than Wagner's opera. No less passionate than Greek tragedy. And more important, as Nietzsche claimed 'God is dead', there's no value basis for right or wrong, each side claimed its own justice and righteous, since there is no neutral or objective basis for any judgement, the only criteria is the power. The one who exerts the largest power wins. Of course the concept of win is subjective, both side firmly believe that their power is bigger and they win. Isn't it a perfect to have so many winners, and nearly no loser, in a single game? That's why it must be the greatest Olympic, an Olympic of all win.

I chose the Chinese side, I participated and I think we win. We win because Chinese finally understand Nietzsche, do not care about objectivity, procedure justice or reasonable judgment. It is just a game. Because our team is one of the biggest and our team members are more closer and uniformed than other teams, which means a stronger collective power, we are more inclined to perform well in such game just as we did in real Olympic.

"Only the day after tomorrow belongs to me. Some are born posthumously", Nietzsche wrote. He is absolutely right, today is just 'the day after tomorrow'.

Are you ready to have fun, China?

All media are talking about the Austrian affair, a man fathered the 7 children of his own daughter who lived in the cellar of the man's house for 24 years. Why Austria again? Only several months ago another Austrian girl Natascha Kampusch was rescued after being prisoned in a cellar for 8 years. No body knows if there are any other people confined in a cellar deeply planted in the land of Mozart, Schubert and Strauss. But it will be less astonishing if we consider that this is also the land of Freud, Kafka and the birth place of Hitler. It was Natascha that reminded me the connection, answering the question 'Why Austria again?' she said it is because of Nazism. The argument is not quite convincing because the answer is too simple. Such an unbelievable thing needs some unbelievable reason, Nazism is not unbelievable, everyone know it's evil and blame anything bad to it is too easy an explanation of evil things to be  accepted as true reason.  Nevertheless, it is hard to deny that there may be some connection between the affair and Nazism, they are both related to this piece of land and its complex culture. Neither Freud nor Kafka's work is conventional, they both touched something deep and something dark in human mind, something you keep secretly in cellar.

In The Ethical Function of Architecture, Harries wrote about why we need cellar in our house -"An adequate understanding of human being must recognize the importance of what usually remains below the level of consciousness. Our psyche, too, has its attics, cellars, and closets. But if so, theories of dwelling should not attempt to elide them. In our buildings, too, we need spaces that play the part of the subconscious." Even in this paragraph the connection between Austria and cellar is manifest as the concept of subconscious was invented by Freud. I must admit that I did not understand the meaning of this paragraph adequately before the disclosure of these cellar stories. I am astonished by the power of 'what usually remains below the level of consciousness.' I even doubt if Harries himself was fully aware of it. In Freud, subconscious cannot be morally judged because it is natural, beyond choice and beyond reason. Although hard to accept, it remains a truth that human beings are fundamentally unreason, even Aristotle admit that all thoughts only start from intuition, not reason, and this intuition can be any thing, white or dark.

Probably it is this fundamental unreasonity that makes cellar necessary. And if you really believe subconsciousness, you will never care about morality because, as shown before, it is natural and prior to morality. In this sense, be a true human being, you are doomed to need a cellar to cover your subconscious as it cannot be fully accepted by morality although it is even more deeply rooted in your mind.

Of course these words do not intend to justify the man's behavior, they just remind me that it may not be that unusual. In some sense it is even inevitable although no one wants to be kept in the cellar. At least in this aspect, the man is a practitioner of Harries's suggestion about a house of dwelling. Not all people build really cellars for themselves, but I am sure they have cellars in their minds.

The more interesting problem is not if you have a cellar or not or who you would like to put in; it is rather:

whose cellar are you in?

One cyclist died in an accident this morning, I saw the news on TV. I obtained more details from Internet, he is a male, same as me; 35 years old, similar to me; died at the junction of Nicolson Street and West Richmond Street, the same route I took when I cycled to Department. He could be me, I can't resist the thought with so many coincidences. Normally I am more likely to be him than other cyclist: bike is old, the brake is not in perfect condition, I don't wear helmet, my light does not work, one pedal is falling down. I did feel unsafe in some cases, but I never thought the junction of Nicolson Street and West Richmond Street would be a killing place. It was really a lovely place, one of the most busiest in town, a place of Lidle, Tesco, Farm food, Apple computer, nice cafe, just opposite one of my friend's flat before she left in which we had great meals and interesting games. I mean it is really a 'place', not a spot of space, a place with sentiment, passion and everyday experience. How can you connect such a sweet place with so horrible an accident. I still can't believe he really died this morning when I was considering whether to go to Department or not. I am not extremely sad because the gap between feeling and reality is too huge to be true, and in a gentle country as Scotland, on the land where people plant beautiful flowers around tomes, you don't feel extremely sad about death. It is compassion rather than sadness that prevails, some flowers for him at the beloved place, I think.

some of my friends are going to pretest against BBC today. I support them although I am not quite familiar with BBC's report on Tibet. But I did notice that they reported that Chinese media did not report the protest against Torch relay in London, which is not true. So they do have reason to say something to BBC. After the 12th parade I feel it a quite good thing to show the collective presence of Chinese in foreign land. Not for any political reason, but for will to power.

In fact I like BBC, especially BBC 4. I love their Atom series, and the Medieval series just shown from yesterday. They also have Gary Lineker, the most attractive man in Britain (my landlord's wife strongly supports this view). 

so this is the T-shirt I made for BBC. Thank you very much, Michelangelo, and really sorry, David.

My Lightscape software collapsed and does not work any more. I tried to reinstall it several times but is still refused to work. Probably I gave it too heavy a job that it would rather die than serving its own purpose. Heidegger wrote in Being and Time that a hammer is a thing only when it is broken. It means only when it is broken you are willing to pay attention to itself rather than only using it as a tool and totally ignore its own being. I admire his words so I kept my big green bowl after it was heavily hit by a bottle which gave it a long aperture. I simply could not bear the feeling of throwing it into the trash bin, so I kept it aesthetically. I have a longer relationship with Lightscape than the green bowl, but I cannot do anything to express my love of the software after it's broken. Because it does not exist if it cannot be open at all. How would Heidegger explain this phenomenon? I don't know, I just want to know if I should reinstall my windows xp to crack down the software's boycotting resistance of not.

this is the last picture it left for me:

There have been too much things about Olympics and Tibet recently. I posted a number of posts on Internet; joined the parade; explain the history of Tibet to roommates; watched various videos and articles about Tibet; made several T-shirt designs; and attended a seminar about Tibet confrontation of co-operation. It should not be so many troubles. I feel we should reform the torch relay method and replace it with Olympic Fire Distribution: every country can take fire from the Olympic fire lighted at Temple of Hera Olympia, and this national fire, probably displayed in an open place, can be distributed to any one who want it as long as he brings something to keep the fire, such as a candle. Then every one can use the fire in his own way, light a cigaret, a fire place, a fire work, or a Hotpot. It must be more exciting than keeping the privilege status of the torch.

Note: don't blame me if your house is burnt by Olympic fire some day.

After two days practicing in the children’s playground (because the ground is soft), I can finally jump over a one-meter high barrier without hesitation. Although not in my golden age, although should have been able to do it 15 years ago, I am still satisfied with the feeling staying one meter above the ground for even just 0.01 second. At least there is one more obstacle that I no longer worry about. A small jump for me, a big step for a man.

There is a Secret web site, men and women post their own secrets anonymously on it. I find that most secrets are about sex, sex with somebody they are not supposed be with. I assume that these secrets are real ‘secrets’ for them, I mean the things they want to hide the most and also the things they care about the most. A secret needs to be hidden because it is something of extreme importance. Isn’t it an amazing fact that, for so many people, the most important thing they always concern about is just having sex with another human being? I don’t think a monkey or a panda would spend lots of time worrying about this issue. How can it be such an important issue for the most advanced animal, who has invented everything to avoid the torture of nature and finally turned out to be tortured by something other creatures do not care about at all? How do we get it? Is it a gaining or a lost? Smart or stupid? Happy or unhappy? Worthy or unworthy? Ethical or unethical? But one thing I will not deny is that, seeing these secrets is a fun sometimes although it seems ridiculous that we invented culture, tradition and morality to make sex both a torture (for the secrets teller) and a fun (for me to be exposed to these secrets).

Probably the most genius creation of human being is just contradictions because a world without contradictions is deadly boring.

Hello Engels

He formed his view of poor law in the first edition of The Principle of Population published in 1798; but in 1800 he changed his mind and reached a conclusion contrary to his previous one;  in 1803 he changed back to the his earliest view  but based on a different reason. The problem is that it is already 0:42, but I haven’t finished the analysis of his 1803 writing. Why can't you be persistent?

Writing on poor relief in 17th century, I refer to Himmelfarb's The Idea of Poverty frequently. In one section I need to quote something of John Locke's proposal, Himmelfarb recorded the name of the document A Report of the Board of Trade to the Lords Justices respecting the Relief and Employment of the Poor, so I proceeded to google it. In one second I found a JSTOR article The Making of Homo Faber: John Locke between Ideology and History which provides several useful quotations. After that I decided to compare the article with Himmelfarb's argument in the book. By tracing the reference I found she referred this article as well. Clearly she did not use google since the book was published in 1984. A more reasonable explanation is that she had read all the relevant articles, which means in this area she is as strong as google, what an amazing fact? Probably one day we will no longer call a master guru, but gooru.

My wife told me that she was scared by the story of Sister Drum as well. It seems that we are getting more and more similar, having more consonance and less misunderstanding, we can be called old couple now.

This is the name of a Channel 4 program to be shown on Wednesday. Have never heard of such program before, but I fully agree that it is devastatedly needed in Britain. Last time  I visited Baltic Gallery in Newcastle where a video record of an artwork held just outside the gallery was shown. The content of the artwork is to have two hundred naked people standing in various form on a small hill. To be honest, I appreciate their commitment to art, but, to quote an American lady standing besides me, 'most of them are not in perfect shape.' Probably they should watch this program before doing this artwork. I will watch it too, because I do not look good as well.